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7. (continued)

We also needed to buy some duffle bags to put the mezcal in and some cheap shirts and rags to wrap around the bottles. So at 7 a.m. we went to the market and bought bags. While there we came across a priest’s shirt hanging amidst the used clothing for sale. It’s a long story, but to cut to the chase Lucas encouraged me to buy the shirt and dress as priest when crossing the border. The more I thought about it the more it seemed like a good idea. I figured if I got questioned at the border and asked what was in my bags I’d just smile and say “Regalos para mis amigos and libros para los niños,” which means “Gifts for my friends and books for the children.”

Leaving Mexico was not a problem, but on the Guatemalan side, things went a bit sideways. Lucas, drunk off his ass, looking like Zorro, passed though no problemo. I on the other hand was stopped. Probably because I had so many duffel bags. The immigration official said, “Padre, que tiene en sus maletas?” (What do you have in your bags?) I responded with, “Regalos para mis amigos and libros para los niños.” He stared me down and said, “Abra su maleta.” (Open your bag.)